Torah Portion of the Week
Building Character through the Themes of the Weekly Torah Portion
וַיֵּצֵא יַעֲקֹב מִבְּאֵר שָׁבַע וַיֵּלֶךְ חָרָנָה׃
Va-ye-tze Ya-a-kov mi-B’er Sha-va va-ye-lekh Cha-ra-nah.
And Jacob went out from Beer-sheba, and went toward Haran.
Genesis 28:10
Vayeitzei means “and he departed.” We are told that the Patriarchs Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob observed the entire Torah before it was officially given at Mount Sinai; they were not obligated to keep it, but they voluntarily did so as an additional measure of devotion to God and personal refinement. Yet, in Vayeitzei, Jacob did something contrary to this moral code of behavior that he had accepted upon himself: he married two sisters, Leah and Rachel, which the Torah prohibits (Lev. 18:18).
Many explanations have risen from this seeming contradiction, one of which teaches a great life lesson: Rabbi Schneerson, one of the most influential Jewish leaders and teachers of the 20th century, also known as “the Rebbe,” explains that Jacob had promised Rachel that he would marry her, and breaking that promise after she had waited for him for seven years would have caused her heartbreaking hurt and severe humiliation. Because Jacob was not obligated to obey the Torah’s prohibition against marrying two sisters, he had to make sure that his desire for personal refinement was not at the expense of another human being. This is why Jacob married Rachel, and his actions and decisions serve as a modern-day example of what it means to be concerned and sensitive towards others.
Boundaries That Elevate
When it comes to personal refinement, what are your boundaries? Personal refinement is important for building your character and helping you reach a goal—as long as it’s not at the expense of others, whether it be materially or spiritually. Your refinement of self must not lower the universe of others around you.
When someone in your midst needs your help, and if you are in a position to do so, it is better for you to spend your time helping and loving them, rather than spending your time perfecting yourself. Remember that reaching out and reassuring others is a seed God will honor. You have to ask yourself: “Is what I’m doing to refine myself depleting another person from the help and love that I can give them?” Love for others takes priority over self-perfection—which is what Jacob’s marriage to Rachel illustrates.
Boundaries That Protect
Jacob set a healthy boundary for himself so that he would not hurt someone else. A sense of trust and protection come from boundaries, spoken and unspoken, set within ourselves that function in our relationships with people. Those we trust most in life are trusted because in one way or another, they protect us by operating within the boundaries we need in order to feel secure.
When boundaries are respected and in place, there is a sense of security that comes with it. Trust and respect nurture a relationship. But even a small violation of trust or boundaries can be very destructive. In some way, each of us, every day, has a responsibility to make sure that we set healthy boundaries in our path towards self-refinement to ensure that those around us are elevated.
Pronunciation Guide for Transliterated Hebrew Words
| a | [a] as in arm |
| ai | [ai] as in Thailand |
| e | [e] as in red |
| ei | [ei] as in eight |
| i | [i] as in ski |
| o | [o] as in score |
| oi | [oi] as in oil |
| u | [u] as in rule |
| ui | [ui] as in gluing |
| ch/kh | [ch] as in the Scottish loch |
| g | [g] as in good (not as in giant) |
| tz | [ts] as in hats |
| ‘ | short “eh” or “uh” sound |
The Hebrew Scriptures in this text have been derived from the Westminster Leningrad Codex (WLC), and the English translation is based off of the JPS 1917 Tanakh.
Simchat Torah Beit Midrash®
